Friday, February 5, 2010

My frank appreication chat..

Hi How u doing?
Well, I never told you one thing but let me tell you now since I am at safe distance :)

" Your Eyes Are Beautiful".
It was this that kept me staring at you sometimes because I was curious to know what makes it so beautiful. Frankly I am really curious to know the philosophy behind why such eyes looks wonderfull to me at least.

Pls dont mind... I am just frank with my feelings and sharing it away.

Take Care !!

IndiBlogger Meet in Jan 2009

Mother, When will I get those awards..

Jan 2009
Today was All-hands (A half-yearly formal gathering) of my company at Christ College. Looking at the people who were getting Values Championship Award, Leardership Award, Fun@Work Award , I was constantly telling myself, "Amit, when are you going to receive such award. When are you going to be successful in life. When will you stop being confused and rather concentrate at one goal."

I remember asking these same questions last year also at the same setting. I guess this question will keep bugging my head and its good that I know that I am made to create the difference in life.

For now, I just want to continue doing what I am doing i.e. my work and my CAT preparation. There has been an appreciable improvement and I am just want to continue doing my best. If I get sth good out of this I will pursue it else I am going to make myself TECH guru going ahead :)

P.S. I got Fun@Work Award on 21stMay 2010. It was like dream come true where I could hear the applause of 1500 colleagues in auditorium when I was on my way to collect my certificate.

After 45 dusk.

Dawn -> Dusk -> Dawn -> Dusk -> Dawn -> Dusk -> Dawn -> Dusk -> ..........
Days passed by, change was continuous and someone evolved from something to some other thing. With a wide gap of 45 days, I am penning down my thoughts or better to say got time to reflect upon my past. During this period it was sharpest change I have ever experienced in my life. It was a change from a heedless to mindful, from self-first to family-first, from MS to MBA and with less friends to more friends.

During this period I was home (my native : Dhanbad) for 15 days (Remember I missed the IIIT Bangalore interview ) and trying to catch up with my missed festival feasts and family members. The journey of flight from Bangalore to Kolkata was boring but the forward journey from Howrah to Dhanbad in a local was mind boggling. The commotion and seat sharing reminded me of my old days when I used to have similar flavor.

My mother hugged me with warmheartedness. To my surprise it took me more than 10 mins to recognize my own house where I have spend 10 years of my childhood. The culprit was the 20 months of gap in two consecutive visit to home. I started feeling culpable and in hurried steps was searching all the rooms of my house to extract the hidden past so that I can build my childhood castle around it.

Then what followed was a series of events belonging to specific classes (C++ term). Meeting sisters and family relatives, getting pestered to marry soon and giving a helping hand to my mother in her daily chores. In midst of all these obvious events was a romantic one. I met my long time crush for whom I fought with another suitor in Class 5. It took time for me to recognize her but she was more quick to respond. She is still the same. Studious and sweet. Though she recently got married I have all well-wishes for her from every corner of my heart.

How can I miss to mention my waggling thoughts all time about whether to pursue management or technical as my career. I find it hard to belief today but then in a short span of every 2 hours I used to switch my side with equally strong arguments. Each moment it was ringing in my head, whether at sleep or at wake moments. My head was over exercising to search for the answer and that irked me at few moments.

I bought a new digital camera for my parents (with my father's money though as he didn't allow me to spend mine). It is Canon IXUS model for 11200 rupees. It was great buy and now they are using it quite effectively by capturing all the happy moments at home. Even I took some great ones of mine :).

With one of these dawn, it was end of my honeymoon period at home and it was time to get back to my mundane work life. My journey from Howrah to Bangalore in train was the most dreadful one. I booked side lower anticipating some personnel time and speedy air against my face at window seat. I was complete heart break and distraught when I witnessed "Side Middle" berth in today's Indian Railways seating arrangement. To describe about this experience might take another blog so I just want to end it here mentioning something which I repeatedly told myself through out the journey and smiled. It is "You asked for little fun, God gave you more than that".

I was back to Bangalore and felt at home. The weather at two places was contrast. What followed next few days was getting used to my routine office and finally I made up my mind to pursue MBA. Reasons.... aplenty.


“When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels” (Internet)

How I spent my 10 days of leave for MBA Exam Prep.

I studied some, slept most of the time.. couldn't achieve much of my target, feeling little bit pesky but that's OK. Time which has gone is gone.. Tomorrow is new beginning.

But I still feel that I lack the zeal to crack IIM. I don't know but its definitely not like IIT JEE where the three char mantra was sufficient enough to drive me but this time its something like which fizzles out after every 3 days of refueling. I am somehow finding it difficult to keep the momentum ON.

Today I am at Angad's place with an anticipation that I will study with full throttle but let me be honest, I didn't do much studies rather I did 1/5th of what I usually do at home. I see that even Angad is not as focused as he was during college days which I feel is pretty normal in work life where the priorities of a man change.

I still have got a long way to go considering IIM's call and Amit let me tell you if you don't get sincere about it I would suggest that dude get off and concentrate on something easy. CAT is not your ability. Honestly, I do feel that getting into an IIM's will put my career is secure platform and from there I can be liberal with what I want to do with my life rather than being all time worried which is the situation at present. This is my first and last time and hence Amit give your best the way you did for TOEFL because the value of fight is known only after its defeat and hence it will only surmount with lot of regrets and frustrations which I don't want you to go through.

You still can make it. Just be honest to it.

Vellore Trip and Aftermath :)

27th Nov, 2009 11:00 p.m.

I am little tired today. I did cleaning of my room and dusted off 3 bins of waste. Also, my CAT exam is coming near, I would say just a week ago and I am not in my best shape.

From 3rd Nov to 19th Nov., I was in Vellore for my brother's operation. It was a near crisis situation in my family where no one could believe that the youngest member will be the first to come under the Operation table for a major operation. He had infection in his left lung due to his past history of TB and Jaundice. It was really painfull to see my brother breathing oxygen through mask and his pulses getting monitored on medical systems. For me it was real test of Man. On the second day of operation, my dad developed pain in his ankles which made it unbearable to walk and my mother was down with mild fever. To avoid any further damage to their health, I advised them to take complete rest and was the only one holding the pillars.

At one point I was feeling little broke and I even tried calling few of my close friends. One realization I had with my conversation with them was, no matter what family members are the only ones who can understand the despair of near ones while for others its going to be a remote connection and empathy will be missing. I don't complain but say that it is a natural behavior and hence when some friend our outside your immediate family is not able to understand your plight you should take it easy and not get furious about there carelessness.

Also quite many things happened during the time I was in Vellore like:-
1. My parents pestering me for marriage.
2. Me putting of Jyoti's call out of irritation of repeatedly asking me to get married.
3. Irritating some nurses in hospital with my Physics of pressure difference and they talking about gravity.
4. Me bribing/ tipping someone out of non-chalance just to avoid any conflict and in the best interest of my brother.
5. Also I gave 50 bucks to a priest to shut his mouth for expressing his desire about devotees not getting sweets and just flowers. Me and my mother, both were hurt and hence I did it.
6. Me going to Vellore Golden Temple and how from the beginning till the end I could not appreciate anything but was simply cursing the management to make me walk for 3 kms. Even after so much of pain I could feel no calmer as it was full business model and little to do with architecture/ devotion.
7. My moments of stealing glimpse with Nurses in my brother's ward and how I feel gratefull for their service.
8. My anger over Canteen chap for serving me chicken puff instead of ordered veg puff and more than than not accepting it as his mistake. I remember telling him "I dont want it anymore, you keep it" even after trying to explain him in calmer voice. :)
9. My Blood Donation for my brother's operation. The whole thing was very moving. It is still hard for me to beleive he went through all this.
10. One day at hospital, I was little pissed of with what we were undergoing and told my brother that he should better take care of himself and not be cause of pain to the family. He was literally furious to me and we couldnt meet eye with an eye for quite some time.
11. Also, I gave one mock cat in vellore which boosted my confidence level :)
12. Read quite a few chapters from The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman. It was an exhillarating experience. Got to read the rest but it is little heavy and takes toll on your head.
13. Read loads and loads of newspapers and magazines.. Quite a good time.
14. Was a decision maker on equal platform with my dad after I showed my success with handling the situation.
15. My dad was pissed off on operation day, very tensed and we did exchange few unpleasant glances with each other. I was relaxed and calm.
16. Called up Shailesh Jee and thanked him for all his teachings.

well, i will add as and when i recall more. Got to sleep now. Good Night.